Happy New Year!
I love New Year and always have done – I see it as a fresh start and an opportunity for change.
However, I know that not everyone enjoys this time of year quite as much. Feeling like something has come to an end and asking yourself ‘well, what did you achieve this year?’ can exacerbate any underlying feelings of disappointment or failure. These kind of motivational chats with yourself are wonderful, but it’s no help to anyone to be always chasing an unattainable goal if it reinforces the idea that you are somehow inadequate as you are.
New Year is a convenient moment for taking a breath and assessing where we are in life, whether or not we would like to be here, and what we can do about it if not. Even if everything is as it should be, it’s a good chance to introduce a new project or thing to work on – something positive and exciting. The part of New Year’s resolutions that is not constructive is the subtle reprimand that in some way we need to be better. That attitude tends to lead to a harsh promise of a new regime that is impossible to sustain.
If you’d like some hints about making New Year’s resolutions that are sustainable, take a look at the blog I wrote around this time last year: Why do my New Year’s resolutions falter?
This year I have taken a new approach, and made five positive New Year’s resolutions. I took a few minutes to write down ten of my favourite things of 2019: moments, activities, experiences. Then I went through them and crossed out those things which can’t be easily repeated – things I can’t afford to do twice in two years, activities with people I won’t be able to see again so soon, or events which won’t happen again, for example.
Once I had the list down to a suitable five, I resolved to do more of them in 2020. Of course, it’s not possible to recreate past experiences – nor is it a good idea. But those moments can act as inspiration for future ones. For example, one of my favourite moments of 2019 was a very simple, sunny Sunday afternoon which I spent reading a novel. I can’t control the weather, or read the same book again, but I’ve decided I’m going to make more time to read for pleasure in 2020 – it always feels like an over-indulgence, but surely it’s worth prioritising if that was one of my favourite moments of the year.
You can apply a bit of creative license to some of the experiences – for example you can’t recreate a friend’s birthday celebration, but you can resolve to visit that friend for the weekend or arrange to do something else with them. If you spent time with a loved one you won’t be able to see again this year, you could resolve to call them or write to them more, or to set time aside for other family and friends.
I’m going to do more of what I love in 2020, and I can’t wait. What about you?