I had some good news recently, with two clients getting promotions at work. Both these people were debilitated by pain just a few months ago, and the last thing they were concerned about was work, let alone promotion. One of them, Charlie, found himself in a position where the idea of chasing a promotion was “very unappealing”.
“I thought I would never get the recognition I deserved,” he said.
“Any time I saw someone else getting promoted or getting praise for their efforts I was resentful and bitter. I knew I was doing good work but I had concluded - after years of frustration - that I just wasn’t a people person and unfortunately that’s just the way it was going to be forever.”
He felt he would have to ‘pretend’ to be a team player in order to get promoted, betraying his true self.
“I decided that wasn’t what I was prepared to do, so I did nothing and tried to manage the frustration instead. I was miserable. I was also in pain and fighting what at times felt like unmanageable anxiety.”
As the all-consuming pain began to subside, Charlie became aware of the relationship between his work frustrations and unresolved pain or anxiety episodes. He began to consider what a sense of fulfilment and potential at work might feel like.
About six months ago Charlie began trying a combination of strategies that has sky-rocketed his happiness at work: Leading by example; detachment from outcome and leaning back. This has ‘completely changed’ how he views his role at work.
He said: “I don’t need to chase approval all the time. I don’t need to care how something gets built. I don’t need to continuously speak in meetings and try to influence every decision. My role now has a boundary that I understand.”
He now leads by example, and loves the feeling of diving into things that colleagues find scary.
On detachment from outcome, he said: “It doesn’t matter if I’m wrong or someone else is wrong. Perfection is the enemy of good. Ultimately it’s only work so who cares! Let’s try to take a step in the right direction.”
Leaning back was the ‘biggest and most satisfying’ adjustment he has made. It’s the most difficult challenge for many people learning to resolve chronic pain: embracing and appreciating all their skills, expertise and experience. This change reduces the pressure to continuously demonstrate your worth to colleagues.
“When in a meeting I don’t need to “fix” it if it is not going smoothly,” he said.
“I am confident and competent so I can lean back and participate when I am needed. I can draw people in with simple sound bites like “I have some ideas around this” and then return to leaning back. Leaning back is my true nature. Leaning forward is the opposite. I had been leaning forward for far too long.”
Charlie is one of two clients who have recently been promoted at work after being able to focus on more than their pain. I hope there will be more stories like his - whether good news from work, or any other area of life.
My talk with Chronic Pain Ireland is now available to view here. Tuesday 29th March 2022 CPI published my article 'Pain Science, Chronic Pain and Movement', to complement the above video, click here to read the full screen version.