I wrote recently about my daughter reaching out to friends, and funnily enough just a couple of weeks later an old friend reached out to me. I hadn’t seen Fionnuala in more than 10 years: We had a very strong bond in the past, but had fallen out of touch. We first met at a mother and baby class decades ago, when I was pregnant with my first child. I didn’t really have any clue what to expect, but she had a daughter already and helped to reassure and guide me. At first we lived very near to each other, and soon our children were often playing together. But as with many long-term friendships, life got in the way.
Fionnuala and her husband emigrated to Canada for work, when their four children had grown a little. We wrote letters at first, but these became less and less frequent. After a few years Fionnuala wrote to say that she and her husband had been unhappy for some time, and that they had decided to part ways. I wrote back offering support, and we continued to keep in touch, but were nowhere near as close as we had been.
Several years ago, Fionnuala came back from Canada. I suggested we meet, but it didn’t happen and I wondered if as an old friend I reminded her too much of her former life in an unhappy marriage. I did see her son, who had been my godson. I loved seeing him grown up, and wrote to Fionnuala about these meetings, wishing I could have shared them with her as well.
Then one day, out of the blue, Fionnuala got in touch. Would I like to meet for lunch in a few weeks’ time? I was completely delighted and hugely looked forward to seeing her, but as the day in question drew closer I began to feel some trepidation. We had agreed to meet an equal distance from both our homes, which meant a drive of a couple hours for both of us. I became increasingly nervous during the long drive, wondering why Fionnuala had been so reluctant to meet before then, and why she had suddenly suggested lunch.
I arrived at our meeting place, stepped out of the car and in one swoop was engulfed in an almighty hug – with Fionnuala saying excitedly that she had been given two doses of vaccine. She blurted out: “I’m so pleased you came, I was so worried about meeting you, I’ve hardly slept for days.” Over the next few hours, during lunch and a 14km walk, we caught up on 10 years of absence from each other’s lives. I told Fionnuala how nervous I had been to see her, and she told me how difficult she had found it to reach out to me. I’m so glad that she did, and I hope this will be the first of many regular meetings – we have already arranged our next one!